Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
