Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize