Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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