john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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