you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
