Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
