apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
