I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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