I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
