wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
