I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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