im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize