You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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