too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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