I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
