so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
