Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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