just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
