my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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