I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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