He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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