Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
