wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
