3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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