I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
