You can't motorboat a personality
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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