K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He? As in you personified your dick?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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