I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I want to fling myself into the sun
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
