I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
