sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
