Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
