I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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