Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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