Tell her she can't have a vagina
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
