oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
