I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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