when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
