I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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