i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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