Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
