i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
