Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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