how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
