it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
