I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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