You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
