I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize