people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
