And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
