I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
