dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
