Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
