so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
