So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize