I wish I only lived at night.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
How's work?
Spinning.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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