I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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