Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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