Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
