His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
id be glad to
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
