Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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