meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Enjoy the penises
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
