Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize