Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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