On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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