Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
