the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
